What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle
When going through a custody battle, some actions or behaviors might harm your chances of getting a favourable outcome. Courts make decisions based on what is best for the child, so anything that raises doubts about your parenting, stability, or ability to work with the other parent could count against you. Knowing what behaviours to avoid can help you prepare and present yourself in the best way possible.
1. Poor Communication with the Co-Parent
The court values parents who can cooperate and communicate respectfully. If you are consistently argumentative, uncooperative, or hostile toward the other parent, it may show that you cannot support a positive co-parenting relationship.
Key Tip: Stay calm, respectful, and open to working with your ex-partner to show your willingness to co-parent effectively.
2. Problematic Social Media Posts
Social media activity can be used as evidence in court. Posts showing reckless behaviour, drug or alcohol use, or badmouthing the other parent can hurt your case. Even private posts might come to light.
Key Tip: Avoid posting anything online that could be used to question your judgment or parenting3. .
3. Encouraging Negative Feelings Toward the Other Parent
Courts take parental alienation seriously. This happens when one parent tries to turn the child against the other parent, which can damage the child’s emotional well-being.
Key Tip: Support your child’s relationship with the other parent and avoid actions that could create resentment or rejection.
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4. History of Substance Abuse
Past or present drug or alcohol issues can raise concerns about your ability to provide a safe and stable home. The court will prioritise the child’s safety.
Key Tip: Show that you live a healthy, stable lifestyle to ease concerns about your parenting abilities.
5. Inconsistent Parenting or Lack of Involvement
If you have been inconsistent in caring for your child—such as skipping important events, appointments, or responsibilities—it could make the court question your reliability.
Key Tip: Stay consistently involved in your child’s life to prove you are a dependable and committed parent.
6. Not Following Court Orders
Failing to follow custody agreements, temporary orders, or restraining orders can show disrespect for the court and its decisions.
Key Tip: Always comply with court orders and agreements, even if they are inconvenient or frustrating.
7. Introducing a New Partner Too Soon
Courts may see introducing a new partner too quickly as destabilizing for the child. This can raise questions about your priorities and judgment.
Key Tip: Take time before involving a new partner in your child’s life, keeping their emotional needs in mind.
8. Frequent Moves or Housing Instability
Moving too often or having an unstable home can make it seem like you can’t provide a consistent environment for your child.
Key Tip: Maintain a stable and reliable living situation for your child.
9. Emotional Outbursts or Aggressive Behaviour
Losing your temper or acting aggressively—whether toward your ex, your child, or in public—can reflect poorly on your ability to handle conflict and maintain a stable home.
Key Tip: Stay calm and composed, especially during custody-related discussions or disputes.
10. Not Supporting Your Child’s Relationship with the Other Parent
Courts want children to have healthy relationships with both parents whenever possible. Undermining the other parent can work against you.
Key Tip: Encourage your child to have a positive relationship with the other parent to show you prioritise their well-being.
Summary
Winning a custody case isn’t just about proving you’re a good parent—it’s also about avoiding behaviours that raise red flags. By understanding what courts look for and taking steps to show you prioritize your child’s needs, you can strengthen your case and help ensure the best possible outcome for your child.
